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Old 07-04-2012, 04:13 AM
PussNBoots PussNBoots is offline
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 20

Originally Posted by LotusesandRoses View Post
He's upset because she dared to disagree with him.
If I read correctly, he's upset about a whole lot more than that. He was hoping to have a friend to confide in, someone to share his struggles with. Instead he got preached at. If I went to a trusted friend hoping for support and instead got told that what I was doing was wrong and I needed to stop, I'd be pretty upset too!

Originally Posted by LotusesandRoses View Post
Growing up queer is a lot different from being poly. I can choose how many people I sleep with or am involved with at any time. I can't choose who I'm attracted to.
They are similar in that they will both get you ostracized by mainstream society. And you could similarly argue to a gay person that they could always choose not to sleep with people of the same gender--in fact the religious right makes that argument all the time. They argue that gay people ought to remain celibate. In the same way, if you are in love with more than one person at the same time, you cannot just "choose" to not feel that way about one of them.

Maybe you personally would have no trouble dating just one person forever. Perhaps your style is not to form a deep committed bond with multiple people, you just like having multiple sex partners. I don't know. My point is that not every polyamorous person out there necessarily feels the same way you do. Having to say "no" to someone you really love is a heartbreaking ordeal, whether it is in the context of a gay person believing (or being told by society) he can't be with the man he loves or a polyamorous person believing (or being told by society) he can't be with both of the women he loves. It's the same thing. The existence of one relationship does not make the breaking of another relationship any less painful.
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