Sounds like you have a nice meta-rship with you wife's GF. That's good at least.
However, my wife says that she doesn't want to 'force' time with me and wants it to be natural.
We MAKE the time. We do not "force" what happens in that block of time -- could be a nice talk, watch a movie, sex, whatever. But in real life? We have to BLOCK OUT the time on the calendar. You MAKE the time. It doesn't magically appear out of the skies. It's called making priorities and time management.
When I tell her that for me, that isn't how I feel our primary relationship should be, she tells me to consider the love and intimacy we have, that surpasses sex.
And since there is no time blocked out with just you, exactly when is the air time that the "love and intimacy" channel is playing on?
Every week would be great, but obviously we aren't all made of money and time, so it might be overkill.
She basically thinks that a date with her new boy once every fortnight is not often enough. She wants to train him and work with him in terms of BDSM and craves D/s sex that cannot be offered at home.
So find the happy medium and negotiate that. You could change your definition of date so it's not costing money. Have an indoor picnic, play naked monopoly while GF takes care of kid. Whatever. The "date" just has to be a block of TIME. It doesn't have to be spendy in terms of money. It has to be spendy in terms of time and attention.
And if she wants a weekly date with sub, well then? Spend a weekly date with hubby and GF!
Mon -- DH
Tues -- family time, home care
Wed -- GF
Thurs -- family time, home care
Fri - Sub BF
Sat -- family time, home care
Sun - day of rest for all, church, whatever.
Hell, do two if the home care is up to par.
Mon - hubby
Tues - GF
Wed = Sub BF
Thurs = hubby
Friday = GF
Sat = Sub BF
Sun = day of rest for all, church whatever
Talk it out. Negotiate however your pattern works out best as your sweet spot in the polyship so that all needs (not just HER need for D/s) are being met at the happy medium. We all would LOVE the happy stellar stupdendous, but we can all be content
at the happy medium. And that is ok. In fact, it can be great.