First and foremost, I want my loved ones to be happy.
I want to be happy.
I am not interested at this point in having sex with random people. I have done that before and it does not make me feel good inside. I prefer strong emotional bonds and friendships with people.
I want open and honest communication.
I want to be free to love whom I love, how I want to love them.
My kids and my family come first aside from going out and having fun.
I still want the opportunity to love and fulfill the needs of my "other" who is outside of the family.
I am not opposed to my "other" becoming part of my family.
I already feel as if my "other" is a part of me.
I want respect.
I want to give respect.
I want to be fulfilled.
I want my partners to be fulfilled.
I want ground rules.
I want to know what I have already invested in my current relationships, love, time, energy, finances, status, etc.....is not going to be interrupted if my partner or my "other" find others.
What would I do or how would I want it to be if me and my "others" agreed to a poly relationship like we have all been dancing around and talking about?
1 Kids come first.
2 Be honest.
3 We all have "talk time" together.
4 My family and I will continue to live together and share our lives and finances and everything will be equal as it has been.
5 Going out with others will be planned and scheduled.
6 Bringing everyone to the table to talk and know that everyone is ok with the situation is essential.
7 I don't think I would want to know the details of a sexual experience personally, but I would want to know if one occurred, I would give the same respect.
8 ALWAYS USE PROTECTION! Even if I am having sex with my "primary". We don't want diseases or surprises!
9 Always keep everyone in the loop about how you are feeling.
10 It would be dumb and selfish to assume that my "others" wouldn't develop feelings for someone else as well. As long as everyone is honest about the situation, it's ok. You have my blessing. I want you to be happy because I love you
This is just kind of a rant. Me and my "others" are in the infancy of the poly thing. Does this seem like a good thing to go by? We are slowly working this out, one day at a time, baby steps.