I got the feeling that was the case. I've never been in a truly poly relationship before, but it seemed that sharing every intimate detail (literally every text message, chat, phone call and interaction is what I'm being asked to divulge) would be a violation of the secondary relationship I was beginning. How can it be a relationship if there is nothing shared in confidence? To say that the secondary partner I'd been chatting with/ beginning to see was uncomfortable with it is a vast understatement. After telling him that this was an expectation of my primary's, he asked me to delete all our previous communication and severed all ties with me-- and he was a friend before so it is a painful loss.
I have never expected this of him-- really I'd rather not know. He tells me anyway. I feel like I'm eavesdropping at the door to someone else's life every time he does it... Honestly, I don't know what to do. I love my primary with all my heart. I don't want to lose him, but I feel cheated somehow since I don't know anyone who would agree to a completely confidence free relationship...