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Old 07-03-2012, 05:08 PM
BlueDragonfly BlueDragonfly is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: MA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Emm View Post
First up, I'd sit him down and explain that you will take him at his word. That means that if he says he's ok with something he's not actually ok with, then he doesn't get to blame you when you do what he said you could do.

Then do it. Take him at his word.

He says he doesn't want the last cupcake? You eat it. He doesn't care what you watch on TV? You choose and he doesn't get to complain. He says to do what you want with a new friend? Do it. He asks for the juicy details? Show him the video (ok, that's probably going too far, but you get the point). Eventually he'll get used to expressing himself honestly because he'll have learned that doing otherwise is counter-productive.
That is what I did... I told him you kept giving me the green light and I kept saying to him that he needs to tell me if he is really ok with it and he kept saying to go ahead. We had a discussion last night, a female friend of mine wanted to go out and play darts. He told me to go out but I knew just by his expression and tone of voice that he didn't want me to. I told him to honestly tell me if he wanted me to go out. He just said "I'm not gonna stop you from going out and I'm not going to tell you what to do and what not to do". I explained to him that I understood that but we are a team and if he didn't want me to go out, I'd be ok with that... so I got the whole go out again... so I went out, for an hour, and I came back. I told him I knew he didn't want me to go out but since he didn't come out and say it, then I am not going to play games and I am going to go out.

I do hope he will finally be able to speak up... He may be able to communicate about the bigger issues but the smaller issues make up a lot too.
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