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Old 07-03-2012, 04:48 PM
BlueDragonfly BlueDragonfly is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: MA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sparklepop View Post
Obviously, playing "test" games aren't a great idea. But... is there a chance that rather than trying to be cruel, he was clinging to the hope that if he didn't seem bothered, your cravings to do it would go away?
Yes, I agree, I think it was his way to see if this was just a 'phase', however I explained to him several times that I have always felt this way, I just never knew I wasn't alone in the thought process.


Quote:
Originally Posted by sparklepop View Post
Do you both want to be poly? Do you want to be mono/poly? Are you open to loving others, or just sex with others? Dating multiple extra people, or just one person?
He says he is mono and I am the only one for him but I am poly. However given his history, etc... I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he may open up to it someday. It seems to bother him very much that I would be so happy for him if he ever found another woman to date.

I am not an overly sexual person, he has the sex drive as a teenage boy, constantly wanting it. I am more of an intimate, emotional connection type of person with kissing, cuddling, etc. I am not sure now at this point what we will be open to. I am open to anything but I am also the one that wants this, so this is something that we are going to continue to work on.


Quote:
Originally Posted by sparklepop View Post
Because you say you've "come out" as poly... I'm guessing you mean you have been poly before? Or do you mean that you feel poly/want to be poly?
I have never been in a poly relationship, when I have been in love with more than one person before, I ulitmately picked one... I didn't know this world existed, I just thought I wasn't 'normal'.


Quote:
Originally Posted by sparklepop View Post
Finally... would the idea be that you see other people, but he stays monogamous? This can work... it actually did for me, for a while... but it's not without its problems. Sometimes an even playing field helps balance things out, helps to create empathy for each other (because you can relate to the same experience).
I am up for a full poly relationship, but he says he is mono, which I totally respect. So right now it is mono/poly. If he comes to me one day and says that he wants to try poly, I'd be totally up for it and he knows that.

Thank you for all the great advice!!!
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