Absolutely agree, Emm - we allow ourselves to get into the habit of playing too many games and not saying what we mean. We have to train ourselves and our partners to express clearly what they want and react to them as if they are doing it - it's a feedback loop that is tough to get going, but becomes a lot easier once you start getting into the habit.
Please check out The Birdcage - an open, friendly Polyamory forum for all parts of New York State
"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb