I stumbled across this sight when looking for some advice on how to proceed in my current relationship. Im dating a man who is engaged and in a long term relationship, they are poly, and she is also in another newish but serious relationship.. They consider each other primaries and I am his secondary (he has some other less involved relationships as well) and she has a secondary and he is my primary but i'm not currently with anyone else... so that is my understanding of a hierarchy i don't know if i believe in. it has been fairly easy thus far, we are both good communicators and really care for each other but the issue of me dating other people has recently come up and its become a hard topic for my partner and I and I am unsure of how to go from here.. I want to follow my heart but my head says different things.. and i'm new to ply in general (though i have never really been monogamous) basically i have met someone who i really enjoy the company of and he me, but it is someone that is involved in my boyfriends lives and town ( i live a little ways away in another town) and he has huge issue with me dating in his community) i just need some advice on how to proceed as a secondary i guess. Im coming from a long term pretty messed up relationship where a lot of lying and cheating went on (not from me) and i feel like im not really able to think clearly in terms of standing up for my rights and what i want verses giving in in fear of ruining a relationship which means a L:OT to me..
so anyways, im going to read like crazy and see if i can find any insight.