Originally Posted by nethergirl
i dont like to use the primary/secondary language because i dislike the idea of someone meaning more or less.
Redpepper and her husband also don't like these terms. I am more than comfortable with being referred to as a secondary and often tease them with the reference LOL! In all honesty I hope I do mean less to her. Her primary relationship is sacred to me and will always take priority over my own needs. I must admit being called a Friend with Benefits would not sit well with me. The term disturbs me on some levels. Usually she refers to me as her boyfriend which is cool.
Interesting thread, as we are going to a poly meeting soon and another lover of hers is coming for the first time. She asked him what he'd like to be referred to as. She talks about him as a Friend with Benefits and will refer to him as a Lover. He is pretty happy however she describes their relationship.