Look, the back-and-forth as folks are getting used to poly and a new relationship configuration that breaks open accepted norms is quite normal.
However, it has to be done in a team approach. You discuss things, you decide to try something, if it doesn't work, then you take a step back and analyse, if it does work, then you file that away.
The big thing is that if he doesn't want to be told what goes on, then he has no right to be asking you, you telling him the truth, and then being upset. If he doesn't want to know, he shouldn't be asking, and putting you in position where you have to lie.
Please check out The Birdcage - an open, friendly Polyamory forum for all parts of New York State
"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb