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Old 07-02-2012, 04:45 PM
PhilosophicallyLost's Avatar
PhilosophicallyLost PhilosophicallyLost is offline
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 47

Originally Posted by dingedheart View Post
What are the benefits for him that you disagree with?
My husband does see the benefit of making me happy by going along with this. He does not want to be poly himself, so he doesn't immediately benefit by being able to see other chicks. I feel that the situation helps us communicate better and more frequently, and our sexual activity has certainly improved. One of my biggest complaints before with our relationship was that he seemed to take me for granted, and now he doesn't. He takes the extra efforts now to impress me, which I personally thinks make the relationship a more meaningful one for both of us. Also one learns new things with new people and that can be used to spice up things for the primary relationship, but I don't think my husband likes that idea.

But, I realize there are some disadvantages as well. I just see poly as opening the doors for a more honest relationship, and I'm not sure that he sees it that way. But, at least he recognizes that I've been happier lately.

Originally Posted by Phy
After the first insecurities were gone, and after everything had become more normal, we once talked about the benefits he could see in the presence of my friend in our lifes. He said, that he liked this way of living (three adult household), the shared responsibilities, how our dynamic evolved with another person in the mix, how he liked talking about me to him and to a certain extend, he liked the thought of another love being in my life (added some sexual tension and excitement for him) as well as it was a good feeling for him to witness me being true to myself, loving freely while never excluding him in the process.
This is a nice thing to see, and I hope to get to that point with my husband and E.

I want to thank everyone for their responses....they all helped me to see various perspectives and gave me some food for thought. If you have more to add though, definitely feel free to.
Me: K, female, 27. Married to Y for over 4 yrs (male, monogamous, 33). Opened relationship to E (male, monogamous, 27) in a relationship vee.
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