Originally Posted by Quath
I think it is a good idea to try to get him to be open with his wife.
I hope it works out for you.
Wonderfully put Quath! Polyamory is all about being honest and above board. I have had affairs in the past during a 16 year monogamous marriage. Affairs are ultimately not healthy and destructive in my humble opinion. Being open with his wife shouldn't even be a point of debate.
Hope you get things healthy and happy in your relationship.