Originally Posted by AnnabelMore
I'm a big fan of directness and clarity.
You`re a diamond in a rough, thank you. I`m truly surprised by the lack of positive feedback in this forum. I`ve posted the same thread elsewhere, and have gotten mostly positive 'reviews', which just goes to show how much I fit into poly. I may repost a post from someone in another forum (a woman) with due permission, because it`s an example of what I`m talking about from a female perspective.
I also think bisexual women (especially doms or switch) will be more inclined to entertain asking for consent, because there`s no Prince Charming to take responsibility for initiation for them at all times.
Originally Posted by ksandra
If you ask to kiss them then the next action has to be a kiss. For me that takes out some of the spontaneity.
Presumably, you want
to if you say, Yes? Here`s something else I seem to be picking up on, you tell me if I`m wrong. It really lays bare how much of a disagreement I have with anything even remotely resembling Cinderella.
I think that asking for consent forces women to make a decision
about sex, and that leaves them feeling like 'sluts' IF they are not sex-positive. I think this also addresses a couple of Ton`s posts. This is why I love asking for consent, and why most women hate the idea (vs. the reality of it).
I fear that a lot of the emphasis on 'spontaneity' and 'naturalness', etc. has to do with that fact: ladies
are not supposed to actively pursue sex. They are supposed to be taken, 'swept off their feet', or whatever metaphor there is for passive-aggressive behavior.
This is why I really put myself out there about not being 'romantic' (even the word gives me the creeps). It weeds out potential partners who want to reenact some medieval story.
Don`t get me wrong, I`m one of the most affectionate
guys you`ll ever meet once you make the unambiguous, independent decision to be with me
(verbally or otherwise); I`m just not interested in making that decision for you, or manipulating you in any way because then that leaves me
feeling like a undesirable douche.
In essence, I think what 'romance' is, is a man picking up the slack for everything that goes on in a relationship.
In other words, 'romance' = gender double-standards. So, yeah. Asking for consent does break down gender roles and the Cinderella story to pieces. If you are in any way attached to those, I can only imagine you`d hate it.