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Old 07-01-2012, 04:26 PM
feelyunicorn feelyunicorn is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Brazil
Posts: 151

Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
I'm a big fan of directness and clarity.
You`re a diamond in a rough, thank you. I`m truly surprised by the lack of positive feedback in this forum. I`ve posted the same thread elsewhere, and have gotten mostly positive 'reviews', which just goes to show how much I fit into poly. I may repost a post from someone in another forum (a woman) with due permission, because it`s an example of what I`m talking about from a female perspective.

I also think bisexual women (especially doms or switch) will be more inclined to entertain asking for consent, because there`s no Prince Charming to take responsibility for initiation for them at all times.

Originally Posted by ksandra View Post
If you ask to kiss them then the next action has to be a kiss. For me that takes out some of the spontaneity.
Presumably, you want to if you say, Yes? Here`s something else I seem to be picking up on, you tell me if I`m wrong. It really lays bare how much of a disagreement I have with anything even remotely resembling Cinderella.

I think that asking for consent forces women to make a decision about sex, and that leaves them feeling like 'sluts' IF they are not sex-positive. I think this also addresses a couple of Ton`s posts. This is why I love asking for consent, and why most women hate the idea (vs. the reality of it).

I fear that a lot of the emphasis on 'spontaneity' and 'naturalness', etc. has to do with that fact: ladies are not supposed to actively pursue sex. They are supposed to be taken, 'swept off their feet', or whatever metaphor there is for passive-aggressive behavior.

This is why I really put myself out there about not being 'romantic' (even the word gives me the creeps). It weeds out potential partners who want to reenact some medieval story.

Don`t get me wrong, I`m one of the most affectionate and sensitive guys you`ll ever meet once you make the unambiguous, independent decision to be with me (verbally or otherwise); I`m just not interested in making that decision for you, or manipulating you in any way because then that leaves me feeling like a undesirable douche.

In essence, I think what 'romance' is, is a man picking up the slack for everything that goes on in a relationship.

In other words, 'romance' = gender double-standards. So, yeah. Asking for consent does break down gender roles and the Cinderella story to pieces. If you are in any way attached to those, I can only imagine you`d hate it.
Independent, sex-positive, bi-curious, private, atheist, elitist, athletic dude.

Last edited by feelyunicorn; 07-01-2012 at 06:09 PM.
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