Originally Posted by fuchka
For me, I have both broken rules and had them broken on me, and when the relationship is a good one we can communicate through it.
I guess it depends on whether you can trust another person, recognise that they're wanting to be good to you, wanting to be trustworthy and trying their best. I don't expect perfection from myself or others.
That, I think, was part of the problem. I may be wrong about this, but I don't think she wanted to trust me. I don't think she wanted me to try to make it up to her and to make the relationship work again. But I don't really know what she wanted. All I know is she seemed very angry and thought I would never understand what was wrong with what I did. I think I do understand, but nothing I could say would convince her of that. She didn't want to believe I was sorry. She said I was only sorry I got caught.
I asked her, if that was really the case, why would I tell her about it immediately? Wouldn't I try to hide it from her if I was only worried about getting caught? She said I knew that if I had tried to hide it from her and she ever found out about it, I knew there would be hell to pay and so that's why I couldn't lie to her. Even our last conversation was frustrating! Her version of the story was the only one she would accept--the version where I wasn't at all sorry for what I did, acted like a child, just couldn't resist trying whatever substance was offered to me, and obviously didn't value her. If I had to sum up the relationship in one word, that's how I would describe it: frustrating!