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Old 07-01-2012, 04:36 AM
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ksandra ksandra is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Ontario
Posts: 78
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1) Define "polyamory" in a sentence or phrase.
The capacity to experience romantic love with multiple people who are all aware of each other's existence.

2) Give us a quick snapshot of yourself. Whatever you want to share in a few sentences, including whether or not you ID as poly.
I'm a costume designer and visual artist in Ontario in my early 20's...oh dear, make that mid 20's now. Work is my first love gets most of my time and attention. I have always been completely poly...my Barbies had multiple Kens who were also each other's husbands.

3) How many partners/lovers do you currently have if any?
I have one mono partner named R. He's a writer and has been my best friend even before we were in a relationship. R has been tree planting in norther Alberta since May. He respects that I am polyamorous and appreciates my ability to have romantic feelings for multiple people, however we are currently monosexual. I currently have a crush, G, who is a game programmer/designer. While the feelings are reciprocated, we are nonsexual.

4) Do you have an "ideal" poly configuration? If so, what is it? If not, why not (haven't figured it out yet, don't believe in "ideal configurations", etc.)?
I would love to be the centre of a V or in an N or even W configuration provided it is a loving, trusting relationship (but that goes for any type of relationship!). Ideally I'd love to have a big family of adults (and their children if that's the case) under one roof.

5) Are you out about the role of poly in your life all of the time, some of the time, or none of the time? If some of the time, when? Are you satisfied with your level of outness?
I don't volunteer the information but I have never lied about it. Most of my family is aware that I am poly, some of my coworkers and all of my close friends are aware--and I am pretty darn satisfied with this.

6) Do you think that some ways of having relationships are inherently better or worse than others (poly vs mono, heirarchical poly vs egalitarian poly, etc)? If so, why?
Whatever works for the individuals in the relationship is the best way for them provided everyone is happy, and feels valued and respected.

7) What are the best things about poly to you? What are the worst things?
Oh this is a good one! The best thing is the way that love seems to multiply when it's shared and the feeling that there are multiple people who care about you and whom you care about.
The worst thing is how easy it is to get derailed in terms of communication and honesty and how devastating it can be to a relationship when this happens.

8) Could you ever see yourself being happily monogamous?
Monogamous as in monoamorous and monosexual--possibly. For this to happen something huge would have to change in my life, as in something that changed who I am on a very deep level and something of that magnitude would have to either be very good or very bad.

9) Would you recommend poly to others who may not have considered it? How about to your kids if you have any now or ever end up having any?
In theatre we have a saying..."If you can imagine yourself happy doing anything else, go do it, this world is not for you" and generally the theatre people I know love their jobs and their life but also experience some moments of extreme frustration, desperation and insecurity. To me poly is the same way. Yes, it is hard and it is easy to experience some of the lowest lows but it is extremely rewarding and comes with some wonderful, high highs. So I guess in short, I would recommend it if there is no other way for you to imagine yourself leading a happy life.

10) Love is not a finite resource, there will always be enough there for the person who needs it.

Last edited by ksandra; 07-01-2012 at 04:47 AM. Reason: missed a point
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