Originally Posted by GalaGirl
It's more romantic if the question is actually ASKED. "I'd like X with you... may I?" or "I find the idea of X with you appealing... how would you feel about that?" You are engaging with me as a person, asking my thoughts and feedback.
The sentence in bold is exactly what I mean by 'asking
for consent', and I think it`s implied in the expression itself. I don`t know why, but people usually tend to assume both extremes upon hearing it. Some think it`s sissy and insecure; others think it`s near-rape.
Edit: I think the misunderstanding...
a) from the asking-is-sissy camp comes from partners who have already been given consent, but do not trust that it`s been given to them;
b) from the asking-is-rape camp comes from partners who feel entitled to a "Yes!"
But...I would say that neither insecurity nor entitlement are intrinsic to asking for consent.