“Sin lies only in hurting others unnecessarily. All other "sins" are invented nonsense.”
― Robert A. Heinlein
Which of course begs the question of what is "unnecessarily" - you "hurt" your children by punishing them because you believe it is, ultimately, in their best interest...of course you could be wrong.
Ultimately, as an agnostic, I have only myself to answer to - informed by the reactions/responses of people I care about and respect. Am I being the best person that I can be? Are my actions increasing the general level of happiness in the universe (including, but certainly not limited to, my own) or detracting from it? Is the short-term pain worth the long-term gain for everyone involved? Or is the short-term gain overshadowed by the long-term pain?
Three (or more) happier people working together to be open, honest, and caring vs. three (or more) people denying themselves to each other and making themselves miserable by suppressing themselves to fit some societal pseudo-moral ideal**? I know what seems the more moral option TO ME...
**I say pseudo-moral because I agree with Professor de La Paz in Heinlein's "The Moon is a Harsh Mistress":
"In terms of morals there is no such thing as 'state.' Just men. Individuals. Each responsible for his own acts."
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (22+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (3+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi married female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS (1+ years)
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.
My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe