Thank you all for your thoughts.
It seems I will have to wrestle with the question could I be happy, satisfied, content in a mono/poly relationship. My gut answer right now is maybe- and probably only with my current husband. We have so much history and a good friendship- I would weigh it to save the good and possibly make it stronger.
In a new relationship- it seems there are enough mono people out there to pick from it would just to be easier for an apple to date an apple.
But first- before I can even ponder the question- my husband and I need to deal with the betrayal and dishonesty and hurt he has sown in our relationship.
There is no way to consider and move forward into a realm that takes such care, trust, love and negotiation to care for both partners- if there is not honesty and respect to navigate the path together and honor each others boundaries.
I cannot completely understand the poly concept- as it is definitely not inherent to me. However- I do appreciate the honest and loving ways in which you try and conduct your relationships, and the courage and openness with which you seek your authenticity. That space definitely seems to be an honorable one.