Originally Posted by km34
I don't really think it was too early for you to meet him. I don't think the fact that you're intimidating-looking ran him off. I don't think you or your wife handled the situation too horribly. What I do think is that the guy wanted to act like your wife was dating him and him alone and as soon as he was going to be forced to recognize your presence in her life (by fully interacting with you), he was done. Meeting the husband/wife/OSO or whatever is a great test of character, too, I think. It really shows whether or not a person is willing to put in the effort that a poly relationship takes. This guy apparently wasn't.
Good point. I've mentioned before to my SO that I'd have to meet a metamour before they got deeply involved, physically and otherwise. He didn't respond too kindly to the idea but frankly some of the posts here just confirm my thought process in regards to it. I might direct him here to read lol.