Originally Posted by feelyunicorn
I have no general opinion on whether porn is good or bad, or what makes porn porn, but I can say that it has been on the menu for me since I was about 15, and a virgin.
Even though my fantasies have evolved, I still hold many of them from my early years of porn watching. I remember masturbating to Janet Jacme, who`s still a super turn on to me, the first time I watched a porn movie. I also remember watching a British art porn movie that was available in my local video club. I wish I could remember the title, since it was quite good.
I have never watched anything illegal, but nowadays I watch harder porn than I used to when I first started. Some of it pushes boundaries, and might be considered abusive or tasteless by mainstream standards. Stuff like the German-made GGG, as well as some amateur/reality porn. I do watch mainstream porn and cannot relate to the usual criticisms concerning how unrealistic, or prejudiced it might be. With a little bit of independent, critical thinking, it`s easy for me to set fantasy and reality apart. So, I don`t think it has been detrimental to me in any way. I also don`t really buy that porn is intrinsically abusive to women; likewise with prostitution.
Needless to say, porn has shaped my sexual development, and it is so entwined with my sex life that it`s hard to know which fantasies made me watch certain kinds of porn, and which fantasies were brought about by porn. The same could be said for which looks I go for in women. When I first became sexually active, I wasn`t into anal sex. Nowadays, it`s a major fantasy of mine, as is CIM. Those fantasies are probably a legacy of porn. But, I think eventually I would have gotten into it, anyway.
I`ll watch porn whether or not I have available partners, but I watch it less the more I have sex.
I've had sex with a minor Brazilian pornstar, and have gotten in touch with German pornstar Melanie Moon, whom I want to fuck at some point.
I wouldn`t mind actually acting in porn, and I have a standing offer to do homemade. I have a feeling I might be good at it, especially since I can cum on cue. I`ll go as long, or as fast as I wish; and I have experience with all kinds of partners, situations, and most sexual acts.
Nowadays, it is rare that I masturbate without porn. I do not use it for added stimulus when I`m having sex with a partner, but I`d rather be with partners who enjoy and are well-versed in porn. Women who watch porn are a super turn on.
I do not watch gay or bi porn, though I now and then spend some time looking at pictures of men.
Beats me how all this is related to polyamory, but happy wankin`!
Thanks for sharing. As to whether porn is related to polyamory, I would say that a lot of it may be how you define porn, and how one defines love (something that I link closely to polyamory myself) may also have something to do with it.
For starters, I think a certain question must be asked: how do we define love? I define it as caring for someone deeply. Now we get into another issue; love at first sight. Some people may not believe it exists. This group of people doesn't include me. Now combine porn with love at first sight and I think you'll see where I'm going. Now, in the past, I've mentioned that just because you may love someone at first sight does -not- mean that this type of love is the same as the kind that I believe can only develop through a larger span of time. I've called it "beginning love" in the past and I think it's a good expression.
Now for the other part of polyamory; the many aspect. I think few would say that when they watch porn, they watch one indivual only; no, I think that almost -everyone- who sees porn sees -multiple- people. This is where the other element I strongly associate with polyamory the poly/many aspect of it, comes in.
The truth of the matter is, that while I like the concept of polyamory in theory, I've never actually experienced it up close, if you will; up close, I've only had one girlfriend at a time; I may have dalied with others, but those daliances were almost always at a distance; on the phone or online. There was only one exception and it was a light one; when I had my last girlfriend, Karla, I also was really attracted to another woman named Dorcas, but for almost the entire time that I was in Mexico (which is where I met her), we only got as far as a few kisses and what I affectionaly called a "nariseada" (essentially i rubbed my nose on her shoulder while we were both lying in my bed with some other friends and she laughed; I had a queen size bed, laugh :-)). After about a year of knowing her, I decided I needed to go back to Canada; only on my farewell party did I actually french her; we played something like spin the bottle; she frenched everyone else -before- me though; her girl friend and even her own brother before frenching me, laugh :-).
I'd actually broken up with Karla at that point in time, and I lost contact with her not too long after coming back to Canada. With Dorcas, on the other hand, the relationship has continued for 4 years now, despite the fact that she's since acquired a boyfriend and later married him. So I guess you could say that for most of my life, long distance relationships have been the norm for me; what I dislike about porn is the fact that in almost all the porn I have seen, the people I've seen in it haven't known me; like TV or the movies, it's generally been a one way connection and that's not my favourite way of doing things. But unrequited, beginner's love can still be love. I'm still hoping that I can get another of these "girlfriend experiences" though, because I think there's many things I'd still like to learn there, laugh :-).