First experience a difficult one!
So I have officially had my first ever poly relationship, which as it turns out is also my first relationship, period. It ended about 2 weeks ago and it was, shall we say, a learning experience!
It all started after a mutual friend of both me and my roommate had gone through a rough breakup with a boyfriend who she had found out had cheated on her. He had generally treated her in an asshole-ish fashion (I'll spare the details of all the things he did, but suffice to say he was getting flak about it from even his own friends). The two of us shared a mutual hobby, and met as part of a group to practice twice a week. She is overweight, and on the older side, and she would always talk about how men never dated her. I thought she was cute, and I didn't see any good reason not to date her. One evening she was having a particularly rough night and we stayed late after the crowd had dwindled down and I remember giving her an epic hug that lasted for a long time. And then I decided to kiss her. We went on our first date later that same week.
Then about a week or so later, she needed help moving. She had talked for some time about how much it was stressing her out. She said lately every time she walked into her old apartment it just drained her of energy (we later found out why: There was hidden mold all over the place, which we discovered after moving the furniture). I went over to her place to help her and ended up sleeping with her, then having sex with her Saturday morning. Then that evening she had an obligation where she had agreed to be at a get-together about an hour's drive north, and the two of us went together and ended up staying rather late. Saturday we pretty much didn't accomplish anything in the way of moving.
The next day, I decided I really needed to help her get out of that place, and I asked my roommate if he could also come help. We had a hell of a time trying to find a rental truck, as it was Easter Sunday, but if she could be out within the next week, she wouldn't be charged extra for the old apartment. We both pulled an all-nighter helping her move. My roommate knew massage, so we took occasional 15 minute massage breaks where we would take turns massaging each other, and he taught me how to do massage on her. I got the sense when he was massaging her that it was more than just friendly! To give some context, both my roommate and I have pursued poly relationships before. We found out when we became roommates that we had actually dated the same woman at different times! (She and her husband are openly poly) I had talked with my roommate before about how I thought I was poly.
Later that week she had another catastrophe--we had installed the washing machine in the new apartment wrong and when she started it for the first time it flooded about half of her carpet. Once again, both my roommate and I came over to rescue her. He rented a wet-vac from a tool supply place and I bought some fans and a dehumidifier to pull the moisture out of the air. At about 3 in the morning all 3 of us crawled into her bed (with her in the middle) and we slept. We were too tired to do much of anything else. I remember at one point my roommate looked over at me and asked "What is this?" and I said "I don't know".
That morning, as I was leaving for work (I worked the earliest of all 3 of us that day), he was getting rather frisky with her in bed and I could see where it was going. She jokingly said to me "Help! A is distracting me!" and I said "Nothing I can do about that. That's on him." Sure enough, he told me later that day that he had ended up having sex with her. I then had an answer to his question. I left him a note one morning telling him "This is a polyamorous relationship. Let's talk." None of the 3 of us had ever been in a polyamorous relationship before.
At first the relationship went rather well. She would sleep with me some of the time and him some of the time, and once we actually ended up in a three-some together. I was happy. Life was good. I had my first girlfriend.