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Old 06-29-2012, 05:38 PM
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CielDuMatin CielDuMatin is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Upstate New York, USA
Posts: 1,464

1. Do those "pangs" ever go away completely?
For me, personally, I have had little experience with this, since one of my partners is mono, and the other is poly but not dated anyone since we met.

2. Do you share the details of whether you've kissed/what you've done/what the kiss/sex/whatever was like?
We have an agreement that the three of us discussed that beyond informing someone that sexual activity was taking place (for health reasons) what went on with each in private stayed that way.

3. Does one activity bother you more than others? i.e. sex/kissing/love/dating often?
The only friction that has come up has been time-management. The rest we were able to work out during the initial "relationship negotiation" and it hasn't been a problem.

4. Do you expect to meet your primary's dates?
We expect to meet all dates, whether they are from primary, or secondary. The guidelines are consistent between all of them.

5. Do you have limits on the amount of times per week that you see secondaries?
Limits are based purely on what is practical and what each person/relationship needs.

6. Do you operate a "I'll do (x activity - date/kiss/sleep with) then tell you" - or do you operate "I'd like to do (x) - would you be ok with it?"
Neither. We have talked about the boundaries that each has for their comfort and we all work within those. No explicit discussion about specific activities happens beyond that. The only time discussions will come up is if plans need to be changed for some reason.

7. Do you have a veto rule? Do you agree with vetoing?
We do not have an arbitrary veto rule, no. However, since we each care about what the others think, if someone has concerns about anybody in a relationship, then that needs to be discussed. if there are some major issues which cannot be resolved, then it probably means the end of the relationship.

8. What is the biggest stress for you in poly? (possessiveness, jealous, threat, guilt, time constraints, etc)
Time constraints, for sure. Sometimes money.

9. What is the difference, for you, between acting in a poly way, and acting in a single way?
I wouldn't know, I haven't been single in decades, so it would be wild speculation at best.

"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb
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