Originally Posted by ThatGirlInGray
I'm not physically intimidating, but my dad is and we have similar strong personalities. I've always tried to use that a gauge of strength of character: scared off by either of us? Then not worth my time!
I don't really think it was too early for you to meet him. I don't think the fact that you're intimidating-looking ran him off. I don't think you or your wife handled the situation too horribly. What I do think is that the guy wanted to act like your wife was dating him and him alone and as soon as he was going to be forced to recognize your presence in her life (by fully interacting with you), he was done. Meeting the husband/wife/OSO or whatever is a great test of character, too, I think. It really shows whether or not a person is willing to put in the effort that a poly relationship takes. This guy apparently wasn't.