1. Do those "pangs" ever go away completely?
So far, I have had no pangs with my primary, but we are very new to this. I did have major jealousy issues before we were out poly to eachother, only because he was emotionally intimate with another woman and in denial. It wasn't the relationship that hurt, it was the secrecy and denial. It was also that at the time we were monogamous, so I viewed their relationship as a threat to ours. That is no longer the case. No threat, no jealousy.
Remarkably, I do feel slight inklings of jealousy with my love interest. He is mono, and I am not sure how interested he is in me yet, so I see his communication with other girls as a threat. Him being a one woman man, means that if he likes one of the other girls more what we have is done.
2. Do you share the details of whether you've kissed/what you've done/what the kiss/sex/whatever was like?
Yes, my primary likes to hear everything in great detail. I like to hear about him too (what little experience we've had). If another partner was uncomfortable with it, we'd respect their privacy.
3. Does one activity bother you more than others? i.e. sex/kissing/love/dating often?
Hmm, I might be bothered if he spent more time out than with our established family. Seeing him kiss or otherwise someone else would take getting used to, but I don't mind hearing about it when and if it happens. I also don't mind hearing about his desire to. I would insist if he showed someone else affection in my presence, that I be entitled to some too.
4. Do you expect to meet your primary's dates?
We do, but for the safety of our family. Sometimes love blinds you to danger. We decided it would work out better if we could befriend eachothers partners as well.
5. Do you have limits on the amount of times per week that you see secondaries?
Not as of yet, but we both know to be careful not to neglect eachother.
6. Do you operate a "I'll do (x activity - date/kiss/sleep with) then tell you" - or do you operate "I'd like to do (x) - would you be ok with it?"
Both. I generally tell my primary whats probably going to happen, then tell him what happened when I make it back home.
7. Do you have a veto rule? Do you agree with vetoing?
As of now yes, but only as a precaution for the safety of our family. We each only have one love interest, he approves of mine. I have yet to meet his to be sure.
8. What is the biggest stress for you in poly? (possessiveness, jealous, threat, guilt, time constraints, etc)
So far we are in what I see as a honeymoon phase. Check back with us in a year lol.
9. What is the difference, for you, between acting in a poly way, and acting in a single way?
Hmm, only in that I am taking into concern the feelings of my primary, and also the feelings of my love interest that I am married. Other than that we have been practicing free will to flirt. You know, for the few days since coming out lmao.
Ask me everything again in a year.
I am sure answers will be different!