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Old 06-29-2012, 12:21 PM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,827

Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
I find this such a strange statement. I don't quite understand it. What do you mean by "vanilla and still poly?" Still? Like how is that possible? As if one automatically correlates with the other? It doesn't for me. To me, the practice of kinky or non-kinky sexual activities is completely separate from the practice of structuring one's relationships to be polyamorous, monogamous, etc. Sure, people can take part in both, and have them entwined in their lives, but I object to the idea that poly itself is a kink, which some kinksters seem to be saying sometimes. That always bugs me.
I'm loving that this came up in the discussion here! Dude teases me all the time that I am "kinky" when I consider myself as about "vanilla" as they come - to the point where there is some stuff that a lot of people consider "regular" that I am not into/ turns me off.

I like to sleep with men and with women - that doesn't make me kinky that makes me bisexual. I like to be in relationships with more than one person - that doesn't make me kinky, that makes me poly. I like the occasional threesome and I don't think that even THAT makes me particularly kinky - to me I am just having regular vanilla sex with two people at the same time! (If doing the same sex act with one person is NOT kinky, why is doing that same sex act with two people suddenly now kinky?)

So people draw that "kink" line various places depending on their own experiences and comfort levels. Now the standing joke in the house is "THAT'S not kinky, because I'd do THAT."

Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (24+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (6+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic hetero girlfriend and BFF
MrClean: hetero mono male, almost lover-friend to me, FWBs to SLeW
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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