I'm the middle person in a V. We live together.
My boyfriend has no other partners, hasn't in over 13 years and has no intention of ever having another partner.
We don't use protection.
My husband has no partner currently, but in the last 2 years he's had 3 and a serious potential whose still in the picture. In his case, all of the women were also in open relationships with multiple people.
As a rule of thumb, the rules we operate by are:
1. no new partners until they and you have passed full, current std testing.
2. required condom use with all other partners.
3. continued std testing to be done every 6 months by all partners.
obviously, we made an exception to the rule regarding my boyfriend. That was based on his being completely mono. If he chooses to change that, then the rules become applicable to him again.
Regarding the new potential, if they choose to be sexually active, I've specified that I will no longer have unprotected sex with my husband (which is one reason they haven't been). My reason for this is that her "rules" for her open relationships don't require std testing and she and her other partners have much more freedom in adding new partners at will without letting anyone know.
To me, that's simply not safe enough for my peace of mind.
In my opinion-there is no "equality" to argue in terms of safe sex. Whatever you are comfortable with-or not comfortable with-should be the rule you use to rule your body.
What role a person has in your life doesn't automatically guarantee them freedom from safer sex rules.
"Love As Thou Wilt"