1) Define "polyamory" in a sentence or phrase.
The ability to love more than one person on a deep emotional and/or sexual level without any one relationship threatening another.
2) Give us a quick snapshot of yourself. Whatever you want to share in a few sentences, including whether or not you ID as poly.
I am a fast talker, a bit wierd, I like to have deep discussions. People say I am bubbly, energetic, and outgoing. I identify as poly. I have interest in men and women, although I have never allowed myself to pursue a relationship with any of the women I have loved. My husband also identifies as poly.
3) How many partners/lovers do you currently have if any? Tell us their names/pseudonyms and one or two things about them, including their role in your life (occasional fuckbuddy, spouse, romantic-but-not-sexual LDR, etc) and whether or not they have any contact or relationship with each other. Have you ever had more partners at a time than you have now?
I am married. I refer to my husband (my primary partner) as DH (dear husband). We are so absolutely perfect for eachother! I love him so very much, he is one of the only people to accept me exactly the way I am. We are intimate on every level.
E is a long term, long distance friend. I do love him, but he is in a mono marriage and I am trying not to overstep boundaries. That in short means he has no idea I love him, but he has expressed he feels that way for me. Even though I have not said it and deny it to him for the protection of his marriage, he knows. I know he knows... *sigh* Given the chance, and the permission I would be sexual with him. He is also 16 years older.
S is more of a fuckbuddy. He could be more, but he is emotionally withdrawn. I won't say I love him, but I am infatuated with him. I can read between the lines of what he says. He's a good man who won't open up. He also has amazing beautiful eyes that make me melt a little inside.
4) Do you have an "ideal" poly configuration? If so, what is it? If not, why not (haven't figured it out yet, don't believe in "ideal configurations", etc.)?
Not really. I like love to happen organically. It happens how it happens. I'd love in the future to have a partner, or two even, we both love enough to include in our home and marriage.
5) Are you out about the role of poly in your life all of the time, some of the time, or none of the time? If some of the time, when? Are you satisfied with your level of outness?
Not really. Some people know, some don't. When we are more comfortable and stable in this, I plan to come out to my family and friends. We can not come out to his family, we'd be disowned. His family cares for us in their own way, and they paid for our house which we still owe them on soooo......
I am not satisfied, but we need more time before we make the big announcement.
6) Do you think that some ways of having relationships are inherently better or worse than others (poly vs mono, heirarchical poly vs egalitarian poly, etc)? If so, why?
Nah, to each their own. I think most people have poly tendancies however that they are unwilling to admit to.
7) What are the best things about poly to you? What are the worst things?
Right now its just the RELIEF of being out to my husband and the ability to be comepletely honest with him about how I feel about other people. It's like we have fallen in love with eachother all over again. I like not needing to hide my loves.
The worst, well at this point we've not encountered anything bad except clashing with mono people we are interested in. I heard about scheduling, I am sure that will become it's own animal eventually lol.
8) Could you ever see yourself being happily monogamous?
If thats what DH wants, then yes. It doesn't mean I'd stop loving, but I would stop being physical. He has always expressed he is fine with any emotional relationship I have.
9) Would you recommend poly to others who may not have considered it? How about to your kids if you have any now or ever end up having any?
Only if they showed the inclination. I don't think it's something to be taken lightly. It's not about being promiscuous. I feel that's how most people would view it if they weren't already in the proper mindset.
I have three, if they were poly I'd be happy. If they were not, I would still be happy. If they were gay, I'd be happy. If they were straight, I'd be happy. There is nothing they will ever do to make me love them less.
10) Free space! Either leave blank or write anything else you want to say or anything you want to ask future quiz-takers!
I'll come back to this...