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Old 06-28-2012, 03:43 PM
JynLove JynLove is offline
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 26
Default How not to be a "homewrecker"

So I mentioned in my intro post that I am newly out as poly, although I have always felt this way. I have only come out to a few people I know. My husband being the most important, two very close friends, and S my current love interest.

One of my friends is a swinger, and understands fully. She is awesome. The other is a dear friend I have had for YEARS. He and I play an online game together, and we have never met in person. He is also 16 years older than me, which I thought would be more of a problem than it is. His name is E. E and I have had many deep dicussions over the years, and we connect well. He, having more life experience, is often giving me advice.

E is married with grown children, and in a mono relationship. I had a feeling he felt more for me than a dear friend, but chose to ignore it. I feel the same but won't dare admit it. When I revealed to him that I was poly (I share everything with E) he started coming on stong.

I warned him he would be in trouble with his wife for talking to me in that way, he didn't seem to care much and even suggested including her in our discussion. He also said "We're safe by distance". He lives in California, I in Ohio. Safe by distance is not good enough for me. I am not a homewrecker. I wouldn't interfere in someone elses old relationship, nor would I want someone else to interfere in mine.

So now I don't know if I should even talk to E. It's clear to me he has issues with his wife he has not shared, but I refuse to be involved in them. I hate to admit I do love E, but I just can not do this.

How do I keep E as a dear friend and not put myself in the middle of his marriage where I am not welcome?
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