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Old 06-28-2012, 03:18 PM
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DarayTala DarayTala is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: York, PA
Posts: 42
Default Finally found something to be nervous about...

So this weekend I'm going to my family reunion for the first time in about six years. I'm bringing my fiance Andrew, and one of my partners, Lady, with me. Now my dad's side of the family as far as I can tell is at least partly pretty old fashioned with a lot of stock in the Christian faith. My parents both know I'm poly, and my partners both come to most family functions at their house, but none of my dad's family knows. The immediate family on his side has met my fiance this past thanksgiving, but polyamory has never come up and I honestly don't know how they will react. My extended family who will all be at the reunion, haven't even had a chance to meet my fiance before, or really any romantic interest of mine.

Now, a bit of backstory, I've been with Andrew about five years. I've been with Lady for almost two, and he is part of our family. He and Andrew are very close although not romantically involved, and we do a lot of things all together as a group. My family is also from West Virginia, where Lady lived a lot of her life, although they are from an entirely different area as far as I can tell. Still, my dad's side of the family reminds me very much of his family, and I know she would get along famously with them.

So I'm very nervous about how they will react to polyamory in general, as well as to me being poly and soon to be married, and to the fact that Lady is about fifteen years my senior. I do have several good reasons I want to bring these two of my partners though. I feel like Andrew should be included in family functions as my fiance, especially since he will always be once we are married, so it would be good he meet the rest of my family now. Plus, some of my dad's side already knows him, so if I just brought Lady, it would seem to them like I'm going behind Andrew's back or am not with him anymore, which would lead to drama and confusion. I want to bring Lady because he means just as much to me and is part of our family, and also because I know he will fit in with my family. I really feel like he is the sort of person they will welcome with open arms, because personality-wise, he would just mesh with them all so well. Plus, when eventually I do have children, we have discussed me having children with Lady first. That said, eventually my family would have to meet him, because I do not want them never knowing my kid's father. I know that this meeting might cause conflict, but better to get that out of the way now before children are involved and caught up in it.

That said, I am really kinda scared how they will react. I'm trying to figure out how to introduce people to my partners, how to explain the situation so that they will accept it, and how to deal with any negative reactions. I know my mother supports me bringing them both, although my father is a bit edgy. I think he is worried about being embarrassed by his 'less than normal' daughter, but at the same time, he hasn't objected and understands my reasons for doing this now. How would you suggest I act in this situation, especially with a good chance of people being shocked or having issue with my lifestyle? What would be the best way to approach this as to cause as little drama as possible? And how do you go about introducing both partners to people who likely never even heard of polyamory? I do feel its important my family knows those I'm nearest and dearest too, but I want to make this transition in the easiest way I can.

Thank you for any help.
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