So I sent her an email saying I'd like to take her out (on a date) when/where would she like, and also that the three of us should sit down (some other time than the date) and sort out the V versus triad thing.
So I got a long email back that (I think) boils down to that she doesn't want to see me, really doesn't want to see him, and the whole thing was contrived and coercive and wrong for her, and she's started dating someone she works with. I responded that I'm glad she found someone she likes, I'm sorry she feels that even she and I can't be together at all, and to please please point out what she sees us as doing wrong. We really tried all the time to make sure she was comfortable, to make sure we weren't pressuring her, to communicate a lot, but maybe we weren't clear. We are relatively new.
So I'm sad, and I worry that somehow we might have inadvertently hurt her; we all talked a lot and about things that we don't tell anyone else, and I just don't know what to think.
Sorry for rambling post, kind of raw right now.