I don't really know what to say, I just want to say I am sorry that you are feeling this way and are going such a rough time. This sounds horrible. Are you a person who suffers privately and quietly or does your husband know how much you hurt? Because this behaviour is unacceptable. I really wish for you to be able to put your foot down for yourself and make this clear to him. It can't continue like that.
And don't feel too down because someone didn't wanted to be your friend because of the way you look. They weren't after your friendship obviously, if they are bothered by this. What kind of criteria is the look of a person for a friendship? Geez ... Don't be too disappointed because of this, you will be better off without them.
And again a 'don't': Don't depend on others to determine your worth. I second your idea to talk to a therapist about this, it should definitely help to get some things cleared and out of the way. Your inner world is totally healthy and intact, as you clearly can feel the pain this situation is causing you and it would be strange if you would have felt otherwise. Don't stop believing in yourself, just because the people around you have some problems with their perception and aren't able to treat you with the respect you deserve.
Hugs to you, I hope things will be better soon.
Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.