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Old 06-27-2012, 04:26 PM
simplyme simplyme is offline
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 8

Originally Posted by WhatHappened View Post
Okay, I'm just a vanilla mono, but as I understand it, your husband told you he wanted to try poly. When you didn't embrace the idea enthusiastically, he moved forward to telling you he's now in a poly relationship and it'll all be great, even as you're telling him it's not great, for you. And the man of the other couple has strong feelings for your husband??
Yes, this exactly. I wanted to go slow because I know how I am. I hate change. I freak at change, and this has me on full on panic freakout mode because I'm having to make changes.

Originally Posted by WhatHappened View Post
Are you interested in being part of a poly relationship in general? Is the problem poly or this particular couple?
I am, but not like this. And I don't know what the problem is: it might be me (and this is me talking to deflect the blame off of the others because it's what I do; I know it's not me, it's something within the dynamic that is making this the way it is right now), but I think it's more and more looking like the couple.

Originally Posted by WhatHappened View Post
Because to me, this doesn't sound like poly, which as I understand it from reading on these boards is about honesty, mutual consent, love, and respect. It sounds like a guy informing his wife he's now seeing someone and she can like it or lump it. There's a little bit of honesty there, but no mutual consent, no love and no respect.
Yes +infinity. I don't know when things changed, but I only wish I'd know about the wanting to try this before it happened. I don't want to use the ultimatum, but I'm beginning to think that it's my only choice at this point.
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