yes I am also confused
I'll copy this from what I wrote on the Poly quiz thread:
"Then there is a guy I've been dating on and off for about a year. He has a girlfriend who knows about me and objects. He is forever breaking up with her and getting back together with her. He has very major commitment issues and I think (after a year of trying to figure him out) that to him, I am his ideal woman because I am married and would never claim him.
Right now, we meet about once a month for drinks and we catch up. It's not going anywhere, the relationship is not sexual anymore and I am finally ok with that, but he is still important to me."
This guy was apparently not important enough to get mentioned in my sig line, still sometimes I feel I am in a relationship with him, however unorthodox.
For me, poly is very much about fuzzy lines and undefined relationships. In a traditional, closed, monogamous marriage a friendship like I have with this guy (heavy flirting, sleeping together even though we don't have sex, kissing occasionally, being emotionally preoccupied with each other) would definitely be considered cheating. However in the poly relationship I now have with my husband, everything is possible, almost everything is 'allowed' as long as we talk about it openly. This opens up so many possibillities for so many different types of relationships.. so yeah, it tends to get confusing