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Old 06-27-2012, 04:31 AM
mercury mercury is offline
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 84

Originally Posted by WhatHappened View Post
Six months.

I don't think they really think in terms of primary and secondary. She has a long term boyfriend and several others she sees. He spends sometimes 3 or 4 nights a week with me; if my schedule doesn't accommodate that, we might only spend a couple of nights a week together. We talk on the phone pretty much every day. But I don't think she has any fear of him moving out or leaving her or anything like that, either. So I guess in some ways, it's about as equal as it could be.
Yeah, I would agree that everyday contact plus a few times a week together is fine. I would have no problem with that. That would even be my ideal.

No. I've met her and liked her, long before I knew they had this sort of marriage. But honestly, I can't get over the discomfort at the thought of sitting in a room trying to 'act normal' with a woman when I'm very sexual with her husband. I know she has no problem with it, obviously, and in fact, is encouraging more. I know he's friends with her boyfriend and none of them thinks anything of walking in while the others are having sex, but, frankly, this is not my world.
Nor is it my world. I'd be comfortable knowing the woman and having sort of a respectful and congenial but relatively distant friendship. Like, maybe a phone conversation between me and her once every two weeks. Maybe a coffee outing once a month or every six weeks. But I'm not down with live-in situations, nor even with hanging out all together or lying around on a couch all cuddling together. That's totally not me.
I'm a single mother with kids and pets. They're child-free in a very small apartment. Between that and my discomfort at this stage with all of it, no, there will be no living together! To be honest, I'm very happy in my own home, going to bed alone in my own bed every night. I like my privacy, I like my freedom, I like not having to worry about things like who keeps the bathroom cleaner and who leaves toothpaste stains all over, lol! I wouldn't move in with anyone at this stage even if I had no children and they had a big, roomy house.
I'm similar. I don't have kids, but I like freedom and autonomy. That said, I could live with a guy as long as we have a pretty spacious living space and can have rooms to ourselves at times, etc. I wouldn't have wanted to live with him *and* her, though. At one time, the guy in my situation said he could see me living with him, and I don't think he meant with her too. He meant me live with him but her still in his life as well. I think he was really down for making me a huge part of his life but having her in his life as well.

But that was then. Things changed because it (the experience with me) affected her (and subsequently, him) in strange ways.
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