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Old 06-27-2012, 03:55 AM
WhatHappened WhatHappened is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 891

Originally Posted by mercury View Post
How long have you two been together?
Six months.

Does his wife support you having a primary role or does she actively want to keep you at some secondary level?
I don't think they really think in terms of primary and secondary. She has a long term boyfriend and several others she sees. He spends sometimes 3 or 4 nights a week with me; if my schedule doesn't accommodate that, we might only spend a couple of nights a week together. We talk on the phone pretty much every day. But I don't think she has any fear of him moving out or leaving her or anything like that, either. So I guess in some ways, it's about as equal as it could be.

Are you and the wife friends?
No. I've met her and liked her, long before I knew they had this sort of marriage. But honestly, I can't get over the discomfort at the thought of sitting in a room trying to 'act normal' with a woman when I'm very sexual with her husband. I know she has no problem with it, obviously, and in fact, is encouraging more. I know he's friends with her boyfriend and none of them thinks anything of walking in while the others are having sex, but, frankly, this is not my world.

I think it might be more satisfying to you if it were more of a live-in thing. I hear that poly couples who are a "family" work a lot better. Do you have such circumstances or is it more like he sees you for dates a couple times a week?
I'm a single mother with kids and pets. They're child-free in a very small apartment. Between that and my discomfort at this stage with all of it, no, there will be no living together! To be honest, I'm very happy in my own home, going to bed alone in my own bed every night. I like my privacy, I like my freedom, I like not having to worry about things like who keeps the bathroom cleaner and who leaves toothpaste stains all over, lol! I wouldn't move in with anyone at this stage even if I had no children and they had a big, roomy house.
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