You write well. Kudos!
You know yourself, you ID your feelings, you articulate. So I really don't have anything to add other than yah... growing pains. And have you articulated your emotional weather report to your peeps? Because that's your responsibility and the only thing I didn't get a sense of. Not to nag or control them but just "Dude! Heads up! Here's my weather report! Here's where I'm at right now. "
And yah. Emotional stormy weather? You weather it out. But your thing doesn't sound esp STORMY drama to me. It's just growing pain.
I still feel nervous. I feel like this is irrational given how comfortable I feel with her, but there it is.
Meanwhile, his relationship with her is heating up, and I'm starting to feel a little envious because I don't have that yet. Of course the logical part of me points out to myself that rushing my burgeoning relationship with my dude just because of Hubby's progress with her is stupid, but I find myself imagining it often anyhow.
I guess I just envision there coming a point when he asks me if he can take their relationship to the next level (ie sexual activities) and I will feel simultaneously uncomfortable with saying yes and opening myself up to nights alone, and also uncomfortable stymieing the natural progression of their involvement; I'm not out to complicate things between them if I can help it.
Since when is emotion supposed to be rational or logical?
It just IS. Just like wind just IS. Or rain just IS. Or rainbows just ARE.
You feel whatever you feel when you feel it. You could anticipate what you MIGHT be feeling in situation and make a loose coping plan. But you may feel nothing of that or that PLUS something else when you actually get there. It might rain here... do I bring umbrella? Or not? But it might not rain after all. *shrug*
So basically you prepare as best you can and get there and feel... whatever it is to feel.
Then you choose -- you want to just react
however or act
with intention? That's where the logic kicks in. Not in the "feel whatever it is" place.
I hate feeling like I'm just sitting around waiting to feel better about stuff.
If you are holding up your end of the communication stick and reporting your weather to your peeps....
If they are holding up their end of the respect stick in regard to you while they carry on their other rships also respectfully...
Everyone is doing all they can do then. It's done. You sit around and wait to see what's next and enjoy the ride.
You can also chill a bit and know you'll feel some pings now and then but it won't become big ol' PONGS of stuff because everyone's holding up their ends of various sticks. And the longer you surf the poly waves you can ride the pings out better. "Oh, yah. That
ping. Handled that natural wave before. Alright, no big. "
Doesn't sound like any of your peeps is making waves on PURPOSE. You aren't looking to either.
So yay! Carry on. You sound normal, healthy to me.