I'm not particularly confused by mine, but I agree there are lots of gradations. Do you need for yourself to define which ones are "relationships" or is it just for dealing with your husband? My take on it is that as long as you are comfortable with how each interaction is playing out, and on the same page as the person on the other side, does it matter all that much what you call it? Sometimes it's hard enough to just work out the interaction!
I think opening up to the idea of multiple romantic relationships, and basically being more honest about my feelings and accepting of my life, rather than feeling parts of it need to be hidden, has helped in all my relationships, romantic and otherwise - maybe this is kind of what SNeacail was saying too.