You are doing great!
If you need to chatter on here just to vent -- do it. Connect with spouse, other lover, learn to knit socks. Whatever. It will be what it will be and likely? It will all be ok.
We've all been at the jumpy jittery place.
We KNOW these feelings are just emotional weather.
We can TRUST our people will choose to act responsibly, trustworthily, etc.
We KNOW that.
Yet... internal stormy weather to weather anyway.
Hang in there.