I have friends coming over for dinner and I've been cooking and baking all afternoon, a happy coincidence.
C. texted me this afternoon that he was on his way to meet her and that he would let me know tonight how it went. I texted him back asking me to not let me know until tomorrow. I don't want to stare at my phone wondering what time 'tonight' actually means.
But now I worry that he thinks I'm being a pain.. (while I did everything to not make him think that, wishing him a nice time, not showing my insecurities so much etc).
Ugh I HATE this feeling! I feel like I'm not this person.. but I am, of course. I really need to think about this and work on this. Because either he hits it off with this woman and will see her again (ah, the first date where they have sex, that's a nice one to think about) or he will go on dating other women, so this is not going away, and I am the one who needs to learn how to deal with this.
I feel like I just started my poly life... always these new things to deal with, things that have never happened before, things that challenge me in so many ways.
early forties, straight.