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Old 06-26-2012, 05:47 AM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Oregon, USA
Posts: 1,439

Yes. To me polyamory is an orientation, and it means the ability to fall in love with more than one person. Furthemore, your relationship is also polyamorous on your side (although monosexual).

I would say you are polyamorous and monogamous right now, or if that sounds confusing, polyamorous in a monogamous relationship. Someone who is bisexual is still bisexual when they're in a monogamous relationship with either a male or a female. They don't turn gay or straight. The orientation doesn't have to match the current relationship.

Hell, right now I'm polyamorous in a poly relationship which is de facto mono because we happen to have no other partners.

Basically, the way I see it:

- polyamorous/monoamorous: emotional relationship orientation. Can fluctuate over time and one person can be somewhere in the middle, not everyone is "wired", but if you are wired, doesn't disappear because you're single for instance.

- monogamy/polygamy: while I know many people hate the word polygamy, I personally consider the -gamy words to be the descriptive ones: how many partners you have. That's how I make the distinction between poly the orientation and poly the relationship.

- monosexual/polysexual: focused on the sex, I would consider it descriptive of a current situation rather than an orientation, because in my opinion a huge majority of people is polysexual if you consider it an orientation (very few people lose all desire for others when they have a sexual relationship with one person).

Therefore, a person might for instance be monoamorous and polysexual, meaning that their relationship allows for several sexual partners but they can only love one (or that they have several sexual partners despite their relationship only allowing for one, in which case they're also a cheater).
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