Well, can't force it. You have to go at the speed of the slowest.
And you are all in relationship with each other regardless of the sex configurations. Could think about a break on sex -- the body bucket. A month? To give space/time for good heart/mind bucket work.
Just to give him space to think it out, regroup, and really see where he's at. All of you really -- where you all at with this announced new need from one corner? How's the quad of friends (regardless of lover configs) gonna handle this bump in the road?
If he wants to check out on sex and be friends only -- discuss how to be good exes then. Deal with the feelings and disappointments. Heal. Closure.
And then if other partners want to reconfigure post break up with him as lover and now him just as friend -- how to best process this new reconfig at a pace all can deal with.
Whether v's or triad's or n's or z's or what have you.... it's poly math.
ALL the people are still in relationship with each other even if he's checking out of beds. If this is tapering down, the season for THIS config seems over... how can you taper so all 4 get a smooth landing back in friend space? And whatever the new config might be?
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Not all are lifers -- like lifer-lovers.
But you can try to be good friends in life with soul buckets intact and in right relationship with each other even if all the mind, body, heart buckets bear some sloshing about during transitions. Support each other through this.
Bucket manage, and bucket manage well.
Last edited by GalaGirl; 06-26-2012 at 06:27 AM.