I bet your wife is numb. I'd be out of my freaking mind. I'd feel like, when all is said and done, I was lied to, deceived. When you're in a relationship, you can see people's discomforts and insecurities, and you make a choice to either give up or patiently work through them. But if you committed to working through them, you had to believe there was good reason...
I'm so sorry you've been hurt, both of you. Please, don't blame yourselves for someone else quitting. Don't feel like, "I wasn't enough" or "we weren't enough." Some people just can't do it.