Originally Posted by GalaGirl
I'd explore what you learned about that period of "closed" if it fed whatever it was that needed feeding so well you were able to go all the way open afterward as the next stage of your relationship process.
This! Did you communicate more? Did you spend more quality time together? What was different between the two of you? Have you read "The 5 Love Languages" book? When we are busy away from each other, it's easy to let the necessities slide. Also what do you really need from your partner to feel safe and loved? Are you effectively communicating that to your partner?
I need "quality time" (among other things) with my partner, but his activities kept him so busy that he was never home. As a response I would constantly complain that he was "never home", so he would stay home and then proceed to spend 6 hours engrossed in the computer. He thought he was doing what I wanted and staying home, but I felt even more alone and disconnected. When we were finally able to figure out that I needed QUALITY TIME, things improved.