I'm new to this site and engaged in a relationship with a common-law couple with quite a few kids. I live in Ottawa too. Some of my friends here know that I'm involved with the couple. Some only think that I'm a close friend of theirs, I'm not interested in dating at the moment (I'm a catch beyond belief, if I became single, I'd not be single for too long. I tell them I'm working on *me* to keep the questions low.), and have been involved with them for well over a year.
I didn't go into this expecting to be in this 'situation'. I had been broken up with my bf for a couple of months. Lost a lot of local friends in the breakup. Was utterly lonely. I created an account on PoF where I met the man and it started from there. I was originally under the impression that he's allowed extra curricular activities. I initially just wanted the company. Not sexually though. Just to talk to another human being and engage with one. My ex-bf is originally from here. I'm not. I moved here to be with him. My family and friends are miles upon miles away. I chose to stick it out and prove to myself I didn't come here just for him. I came here to start my own life too.
Anyways. He and I chatted endlessly for days before meeting for lunch. I felt such chemistry spark up when we finally went out together for that lunch. He and I took a little bit to take it to full throttle. We had about a month of just 'us' until I met his common-law 'wife'.
Their family and mine (with my cousin and her bf as an exception) don't know about what's going on. I'm *her* friend and come around to spend time with the family. It's well managed for the most part. I need to be able to keep a job that allows flexibility in scheduling to accommodate the rule of him and I spending solo time during business hours. No sleepovers for him and I. Should I want to be overnight with him, it's to be done in their house, when the kids are asleep/away, I stay in the guestroom, we three have our 'fun', or just him, and I. However, he goes to bed with her. Those are her rules though.
He and I wish we could at least have a night a week together to feel some sort of normalcy. Which is where the majority of the issues come from. Her accommodations aren't to be questioned or I'm gone. Which makes me unhappy. My wants/needs outside of her restrictions are greatly accommodated only by him and she doesn't yield to what I really want much. She's too stubborn and I'm not trying to replace her which is what a couple of other girls have tried to do in the past.
I know he'll never be mine. I know he'll never marry me. However, I don't want to let this relationship go cause it's the most beautiful one I've ever been in when it's just him and I. I've never felt so comfortable, in my own skin, loved, cared for, able to just be me with anyone. Not even my family and I come from a pretty amazing family too. He's a great practise husband and throughout the evolution of my relationship with *them*... I've become even more of an amazing woman and more desirable wife material with how I've become so much more domesticated. I'm significantly younger than they are. I'm in my mid 20's. They're in their 40's.
If I could have him clone himself, be exactly like the original, have him share the second version of him with me, I think it's safe to say I'd be more than happy to spend a thousand lifetimes with this man. Everything I do largely is to please and submit to him. I'm not bi-sexual or bi-curious. I don't really engage more than kissing in our threesomes. It's to please him, he enjoys having the woman who get him going most, and hold a place in his heart side by side to make love to.
Her and I just have the issues in everything because there's a lot of tension. I can't really break it or I'll lose what I have with him. It's largely to do with going back with my wants/needs not being completely fulfilled in the sense of the three of us with just him and I. It's frustrating more often than not.
With this lifestory... what I'm trying to say is please if you're new to this make sure all parties are 1,000,000,000% in tune with each other. Not one person feels deprived, frequently jealous, etc... cause there will be problems!
I balled my eyes out watching Sister Wives earlier on for the first time in ages. I envy how the women can so openly be with one another and he's able to be more equally engaged with one.
I know I have the choice to leave this but he's been the best man to walk into my life. I don't want to part with him in that sense. I know one day I'll have to but why not just enjoy it while I can?