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Old 06-25-2012, 01:37 AM
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CielDuMatin CielDuMatin is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Upstate New York, USA
Posts: 1,467

Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
But yeah, the couple-centric focus on married poly people and threads about kids and families does get tiresome after a while (in any of the poly forums I visit, not just this one) when you're solo and childfree. I just avoid them for a while, answer the ones that I relate to better, and then revisit those dyad-focused ones when I have gotten over my feeling of over-saturation. I do learn a lot from every walk of life, so even those married people and parents have something to offer me.
Totally agree about the being selective on threads of interest. I am child-free too, and we don't all cohabit, so threads about those topics are only of limited interest to me. I also tend to avoid the religion topics, too, since being an agnostic means I have nothing really to learn or contribute when it comes to reconciling Christianity with Poly, or which Pagan rituals fit best into the poly lifestyle. Also, since I'm not involved in the BDSM community at all, and have no real interest in that, that is another area where my interest and experience are necessarily very limited.

Having said all that, I think that this would probably apply to most of the denizens on this or any other poly forum. Not only are there so many ways to "do poly", but there are so many combinations and permutations of the "poly and ..." types of scenarios that I think that it's only natural.

If we are not focusing on the single poly enough, or are somehow intolerant of it, then I think we need to be called on it. Everyone having multiple loves in an an open and honest way should be feeling welcome here, otherwise we are missing something, in my opinion.

Originally Posted by feelyunicorn View Post
Coincidentally, I find the term "love" overloaded and draconian in meaning, hence why I don`t really like the -amory part of the term polyamory.
Touché. Very valid point.

Originally Posted by feelyunicorn View Post
The fact is that swingers don`t allow me inside their clubs because I don`t have a wife (and, probably wouldn`t also if I disclosed my bisexuality);
However, if you were a single female you would be welcome with open... er... arms, right?

Originally Posted by feelyunicorn View Post
polys, although significantly more simpatico, still won`t fuck me on the grounds that I don`t want to live with them and their metamours, and have children, and wear a bow tie to the wedding.
Ugh, you have found that? That's just nasty, sorry. In our poly circles I'd say we have a fair mix of the "live-in polys" and the "live separately" polys. Quite a few are in live-in dyads and are quite happy to have other relationships outside the dyad without intending for them to move in and live some idyllic, pastoral, domestic, baccanalic life. Many are either child-free, or have children that are old enough to have left home, and don't want more, nor are they looking for on-site baby-sitters.

The other challenge that you have, of course, is that you are male, and presumably there are a large number of folks out there who are only looking for females... which puts us back into the ages-old poly discussion of why is there a surfeit of males and everyone is looking for females...

Bow-ties, however, along with fezzes, are cool.

"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb

Last edited by CielDuMatin; 06-25-2012 at 01:50 AM. Reason: Merging posts
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