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Old 06-24-2012, 04:57 PM
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loveboston loveboston is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: California
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Default Take Your Time

Iím not a trained counselor and Iím not qualified to offer advice. But I can tell you what worked for us.

My wife and I have had an open marriage since we were first married. We discovered this together within a month of first getting married.

Even so it took six years of introspection and discussion before we were certain we werenít doing anything that would hurt our relationship. For us the years spent planning created a deep bond of trust that we are capable of being honest with each other even when it came to wanting to have other relationships.

Iíve read that only 6% of married couples are capable of tolerating their spouse having any type of interaction with a member of the opposite sex. Including non-romantic interactions. And even including interactions with brothers or sisters of the opposite sex.

Iíve also read that of the 6% about half are comfortable with their spouse having a sexual relationship with someone else.

Iím not certain if that percentage would increase if there was more open, straight forward discussion and education about healthy relationships. But I think itís exceedingly important that a married couple finds ways to discuss their feelings about relationships without fear or shame.

Feeling free to explore your own thoughts with your husband is an important first step.

Itís impossible to tell where your openness with your husband about your discovery that youíd be interested in learning more about your own feelings would lead.

Perhaps heíll raise an issue that will cause you to think even more deeply about your own feelings.

For me the critical issue of being honest with my wife is far more important than the desire to have a relationship with someone else.
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