Thread: Postmortem
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Old 06-24-2012, 02:57 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: US
Posts: 1,864
Default Experiments

So I've been in an experimental phase.

I went to my first private kink play party. Overall that was fun. I did not play very much - I'm not a masochist so flogging or whipping does not appeal. I'm not a sadist so I don't want to flog or whip someone else. (Although I may try flogging - both giving and receiving - just to see what it feels like. Whipping requires too much skill and I don't want to go down that particular kink road.) I am interested in bondage but I have to admit suspension bondage escapes me. I don't get why people do it. But there are many things I don't get in kink - and of course, I don't have to get them.

I watched a lot which was interesting. I like watching kink scenes a lot, unlike regular sex. Kink is pretty much totally new so I guess that is why.

I did try fire play. That was seriously fun! I learned my pain tolerance was higher than most newbies to fire play which surprised me. I think of myself as someone with a low pain tolerance. However, I was processing the sensations furiously internally. Someone more extroverted or exhibtionist may have processed more out loud than I did. Fascinating experience. I want to learn how to do it.

I've also been going to quite a few kink oriented or related parties, gatherings, munches. I mostly enjoyed myself. However, I do not feel particularly at ease with the crowd that I've been hanging out with. They have done nothing wrong or been unwelcoming. However, I've realized that this kink crowd is not as open and acknowledging to introverts as the my local poly crowd. I think this may be just how kink communities are - public play is such a part of it. There is a premium placed on showing one's kink skills, doing public scenes, etc. (By public I mean at private or public play parties - not in public public!) A lot of people don't play in public it's true but I haven't meet them because they largely don't go to the more open events. Also my local kink crowd, unconsciously I believe, subtly reinforces the stereotype that man=dom and woman=sub as that is what most people who socialize in that group tend to identify as. There are switches of both genders around and they are not ostracized. However, there are very few female dommes. Again, I don't think this is intentional. But it's another point where I don't feel fully comfortable and at home. So I think I will ratchet back on the kink events - be more selective while continuing to explore kink. And I may just need to find another kink circle to hang out in.

More later.
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