Dates and Overnights cntd...
In the meantime Ranger and I continue to bond through txts, mostly. The odd email is exchanged, but he is working 12 plus hour days right now on a huge project (he is a project manager for the environmental division of an electric company). Add to this the fact that his wife has just finished her Masters Degree, and is around the house and available for the first time in years, his relationship with his girlfriend in the city, and there is just not a whole lot of time leftover. He has a largely DADT relationship with both his girlfriend and his wife, and while it works for them it is seeming to make things more complicated for the two of us to see each other. We had talked about having some evenings together before our extended time that we get together at the end of July, but he doesn't want to upset his wife by taking time with me. It seems that they haven't really started talking about the elephant in the room - polyamory - something that she asked for (opening up) after falling in love and exercising some indiscretion with a man in her Master's program. Ranger struggled mightily, but in his true selfless/loving nature, worked to give her what she wanted. Now that man has gone back to his ex girlfriend, leaving Ranger's wife without a lover, and Ranger has two. He is trying to be sensitive and not overburden her by asking for time with me on top of his time with his girlfriend, but it's having a kind of negative effect on me. I am nobody's dirty secret.... or wait, maybe I am? It's not that she doesn't know about my existence - she does - but the fact that I can't see Ranger for fear of upsetting her is difficult for me, especially when in my court I'm facing my upset head on so that Sync and E can have time together. The set up seems tenuous and somewhat cowardly to me, but I don't yet feel comfortable extending these feelings to Ranger. I wonder if our connection will have the opportunity to really flourish with all of these time constraints, but thus far I am remaining (at least externally) patient for the most part, and continue to feel that he is a man of significance in my life.
Mischief and I have had some interesting developments as of late. He is a very reserved man, adept at negotiating (he was a professional negotiator in huge business deals for years - buying and selling hotels, for example - he would negotiate and close the deals) and not showing his hand if he doesn't want to. He has had his trust broken by his ex wife's extra marital affairs, but more so by her unwillingness to heal their relationship and work it out afterwards. They're at the end of a very complicated divorce - multiple pieces of property, large sums of money, children, it's all quite sad to hear him go through, as he is such a decent and good man. He is refined and elegant in his asthetic and interests, and as a fellow INTJ is emotionally removed until he decides its safe to come out of his snail shell. Unflattering analogy, but it fits. It's not that he's suspicious, but he is most definitely cautious and calculating when it comes to relationships. It's made it tough to connect with him, because I do feel the need for intimacy and a certain level of relaxation in order to want to pursue any kind of sexual relationship. (to be continued.... forum character limitation)
Last edited by BaggagePatrol; 06-23-2012 at 07:13 PM.