Hello everyone, I have been reading all of your comments and taking them to heart.
Things have gotten a little better for us, and I am starting on the road to acceptance, but I am still struggling over a few concepts of a poly/mono relationship.
First, if my partner truly loved someone, (the way he loves some of his closest friends), then I don't find I would have a problem with them being together.
But here is the thing. As soon as I think that, my thought process gets all back and forth and i seperate the fact that he loves that person, and the fact that they are having sex, holding hands, kissing.
If that doesn't make sense, I'll try to explain in a simpler way...
I am okay with him being in a relationship with someone he loves if he loves them the way he loves some of his friends. As soon as I think that, the fact that he loves them leaves my mind and what enters is a string of thoughts of him being affectionate with someone else.
In order to get over this I need to bring these two ideas together.
Furthermore, if one day all three of us were together, how am I supposed to feel special, if he is also with them? I have voiced that I think I would feel like the third wheel with my own partner in this situation and he can told me that would never happen because I would be his primary relationship.
Also, another update on this whole situation is this;
He has told me, he is the type of poly person who would have what he calls a primary relationship, I am the one he wants to marry and always be around / have a family with / be around his parents, etc
I believe him, however - I have grown up my entire life thinking if this was true, then he would not be with someone else.
It is all so confusing for me, but I am confident we will overcome this situation.