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Old 06-23-2012, 02:20 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 8,562

You are asking good questions.

Perhaps in meeting her and envisioning a relationship with her, and seeing how his feelings for you haven't changed, he has realized that you having another relationship face-to-face is not the threat he once thought it would be. And Hubs has seen you honor your agreements and knows you can be trusted.

I commend you for putting up with such severe restrictions on the relationship you have with your OSO for so long (I personally could not have a totally online relationship), but it does sound like the right time for renegotiation. Keep talking about it. I see no reason why you cannot gently voice the same concerns to him that you have expressed here. Poly works really well when there is full transparency.

After you get a few more responses, you can invite him to read the thread and add his perspective.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
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